Flashing Red

I am very angry with Dell. Whew. Had to get that off my chest. When I bought my laptop a year and a half ago I expected some sort of disaster to strike- a bike crash where I use my computer to cushion the fall, my cat knocking over a mug of coffee onto the keyboard etc.- which is precisely why I bought the most extensive, expensive warranty offered. Four years of Complete Care. Spilled coffee and bike crashes alike, I was safe.

Amazingly enough I have found a loop hole in this "complete care" business: batteries.

Batteries have their own special warranty which lasts one year. OK fine, I get it- Dell doesn't want people calling and demanding a new battery because the one in their four-year-old computer doesn't work as well as it used to. But surely my superior warranty would cover the sudden and complete failure of my battery, with its signal light flashing an angry red and orange pattern at me. Nope. Not a chance. After several painful conversations with employees that were assuredly not named "Tim" and "Stacy" I was told my only option was to fork over a couple hundred bucks for a new one. Grrrr. And to add to the excitement, the expected delivery date is an unbelievable five to nine weeks. I can't even fathom a scenario in which it might take five to nine weeks to deliver a battery, unless maybe it will arrive via a directionally challenged messenger pigeon? Maybe I should keep a window screen open, just in case.